Viewer Discretion Advised: Habs 6 – Wings 1

First, an update on the lineup – Hronek is out and Stecher is in. If it’s more than a healthy scratch/maintenance day I will cross out this sentence. And of course, Bert is not allowed to play in Canada due to his unvaccinated status so Rowney is in for him.

Habs are drowning in misery, they are on a five-game losing streak to kick off their season, so this has Trap Game written all over it. Was it a trap? The headline probably told you but read my novelization of the game anyway and see how many alliterative names I come up with to avoid saying “penalty box”.

First Period

The first few minutes is all Habs but they are still not good so even when they have the puck it’s not that dangerous…yet. Erne gets a breakaway-ish and a decent shot, especially since he gets a slash across the legs, but a good save stops him.

Wings to the powerplay! Chiarot to the Asshole Asylum for tripping Seider. But not for long because LARKIN SCORES IMMEDIATELY! THAT’S OUR CAPTAIN. 1-0 Wings. And add another point for Seider.

And why were the Wings on the powerplay? Because Wes McCauley is good at his job. Do not make me regret typing that, Wes.

Nothing else happens the whole game stop reading here just trust me on that.

Ok fine, let’s keep going…

That goal put some pep in our step. Wings are moving fast now. Greiss gets a little too excited, taking notes from Ned, and strayed quite far from the net and almost paid for it big time. SPOILER: That would be the last of our luck for the game.

Nice rush from Zadina and Erne (yes that’s a combination) and Erne CLANK hits the post. Raymond getting pushed around every time he even looks at the puck, as is a theme so far this season. As long as he doesn’t skip leg day he’ll be able to start fending those off better.

8:30 to go and Lindstrom is headed to the Bad Boy Box for tripping Drouin. Penalty kill time and the penalty is killed. Shots are tied 4-4.

6 minutes to go and you could see it coming a mile away. Habs tie it up 1-1. Chiarot was wide open and doesn’t miss the top corner. Not much Greiss could have done about it.

Wheels falling off now as Habs get a powerplay with 4 minutes to go. DeKeyser to the Crimes Cabana for tripping Gallagher. Penalty kill let’s go! We did not go. Hoffman scores and Habs take the 2-1 lead.

Guess what, another penalty kill! Zadina to the Delinquent Den for high-sticking Petry with 3 minutes to go. Greiss doing work and Wings get in their first little scrum of the game.

Wings kill the penalty and that’ll do it for the first. The score is 2-1 and shots are 8-4 both in favor of the Habs.

Second Period

Here we go gang, let’s get ‘er goin! Or not. Greiss has to make a big-time save in the first minute as Lindstrom gets stuck trying to defend a 3 on 1. Not the ideal start. But as Mickey always says it’s a one-shot game…

Red Wings score!! INTO OUR OWN NET. Staal’s leg makes it 3-1 Habs. Dvorak gets the credit. The crowd is buzzing and singing songs. Hate to hear it.

Ok here we go, Seider missed his best chance for a first goal but now it’s time for another Red Wings powerplay! Lehkonen heads to the Evildoer Enclosure for high-sticking Rasmussen. The powerplay was a pooperplay.

Uh oh. Habs are now up 4-1. Perreault unassisted. Not even halfway through the period. Greiss stays in the net though.

Uh oh. Habs are now up 5-1. Perreault again. Just over halfway through the period. Greiss skates sadly to the bench. He wasn’t completely awful this is at least 60% a mercy killing. Ned sheds the winter beanie and puts on the helmet. Good luck buddy.

5 minutes to go and nothing else worth reporting, which at this point is a win!

30 seconds left and Dvorak to the Fiend Flophouse for interference on Fabbri. Wings suddenly come alive…for 15 seconds…and the Habs get a shorthanded chance they thankfully do not convert on.

That’ll do it for the second. Habs winning 5-1 and it’s not fun!

Third Period

We get 1:30 of powerplay time and squander it. Shots are actually only 21-19 in the Habs favor. Obviously, their shots were more effective. Wings looking a bit better, like they got a stern talking to, but still aren’t connecting on passes very well.

Kind of a weird moment. DeKeyser gets hit by the Habs bench door(?). Givani Smith takes exception(?) and is sent to the Goon Garden for unsportsmanlike conduct. Penalty kill again and the penalty is killed! 12 minutes to go. I’m not sure what happened to cause the penalty but no harm at least.

Here’s the good news. At least we aren’t the Maple Leafs.

7 minutes left to endure and Ned heads to the bench. Did Blash call him over or was he just tired of this game? Either way, Perrault completes the hat trick into the empty net. 6-1 Habs. I love this move from Blash, to be honest.

Hey a decent shot from Rowney, good for him.

6 minutes. Vlad gets a bit of a crosscheck and it’s fine we don’t want another disappointing powerplay don’t worry about it, Wes.

5 minutes. We’re still winning the moral victory of 26 shots to their 23.

4 minutes. An accidental knee-on-knee collision between Suter and Toffoli but they both seem fine. That could have gone very wrong.

3 minutes. Givani finishes a check just because he can.

2 minutes.

1 minute.

30 seconds. Fabbri has the closest almost goal for the Wings of the night.

Habs win 6-1. Wings win shot total 27-24 so there’s that.

Back at it again tomorrow in Chicago. LET’S GO RED WINGS.

Please.